HOW TO HELP YOUR TODDLER/PRESCHOOLER STAY IN BED

Is your toddler/preschooler repeatedly getting out of their bed? If you are struggling with a toddler/preschooler who won’t stay in bed, this post will help you by giving you some tips to help you get your toddler or preschooler to stay in bed all night.

A recent client reached out to me because “I’m losing my mind.”  Her 3-year-old was holding her captive at naps and bedtime.  She had to be rocked to fall asleep for a nap and for bedtime.  Sometimes this could take up to TWO HOURS and then repeat multiple times in the middle of the night.

She was feeling defeated.

Scenarios like this… where toddlers or preschoolers demand a parent’s presence and cry or tantrum if they don’t get it are super common.  Also, they don’t discriminate.  They pop up out of nowhere in toddler/preschoolers who have been “amazing sleepers” and in those who “have never been great sleepers.”

Often parents get thrown off when their ‘amazing sleeper’ suddenly protests falling asleep independently.  Why wouldn’t your little one want your company?  You are their light, their everything.  Why not try to ask for it?  And then when they get it… why wouldn’t they fight rather than give that up?

In This Blog, We Will Cover The Following On How To Help Your Toddler/Preschooler Stay In Bed. :

• Main reasons why your toddler/preschooler may be waking at night 
• Establish a bedtime routine and stick to it
• Make sure your toddler/preschooler is getting enough sleep
• Choose the right time to put your toddler/preschooler to bed
• Use an OK to wake clock
• Use sleep rules and positive reinforcement when your toddler/preschooler stay in their bed

>>>>>>Download the toddler/preschooler eguide here!! <<<<<!

Main Reasons Why Your Toddler/Preschooler May Be Waking At Night 

Here are the main reasons your toddler/preschooler may be waking at night: 

• Transitioned out of crib too early 
• Relies on parents to fall asleep 
• Habit, previous attempts to get out of bed have been allowed
• Need a schedule adjustment (nap transition, overtired, under tired) 
• Big life changes (new sibling, potty training, move, etc.)
• Too Cold, Too Hot
• Nightmares/Night Terrors
• Afraid of the dark
• Scared to be alone (separation anxiety)
• Potty Accident
• Hungry/Thirsty
• Sick
• Sleep Apnea (always look into this possibility with toddler/preschooler night wakings! Consult your pediatrician)

HOW TO HELP YOUR TODDLER/PRESCHOOLER STAY IN BED

Establish A Bedtime Routine And Stick To It

Toddlers and preschoolers are wanting to excerpt more independence in their world. They will want to and can be more involved in the bedtime routine. Give them some control by letting them pick out their PJs, what books you will read, or what songs to sing. Bedtime is usually a set time and should be consistent every night. Usually between 6pm and 8pm. 

Here is an example (after bath, potty and teeth bruised)

• Come into their room
• Dim the lights
• Nighttime pajamas
• Sleepsack 
• Sit in a chair and read 2-3 board books
• Sing 2-3 songs lullabies 
• Tell the toddler/preschooler “it’s night-night time”
• Place into the crib/bed awake 

This bedtime routine is likely 15 minutes in length from the time you come into the room and have your toddler or preschool is in their bed/crib. 

>>>download your FREE bedtime routine cards<<<<<

Make Sure Your Toddler/Preschooler Is Getting Enough Sleep

How much sleep does your toddler/preschooler need? First of all, it’s important to keep in mind that every toddler/preschooler is different. The amount and type depending on their age as well as personality and sleep needs can vary widely from one toddler or preschooler to another! You can check out my toddler eguide to get schedules for 2 to 4 year old.

Choose the right time to put your toddler/preschooler to bed

It is important to have the right bedtime for your toddler/preschooler or preschooler. If your toddler/preschooler is still napping you want to be sure they have enough sleep pressure before bedtime. For example: if your toddler/preschooler’s bedtime is 7PM, nap should end by 2:30/ 3:00pm. 

Use Sleep Rules  Positive Reinforcement When Your Toddler/Preschooler Stay In Their Bed

There are some great ways you can use positive reinforcement with your toddler/preschooler. For example, having sleep rules and if he or she stays in bed all night and doesn’t get up before their ok to wake clock turns on, then give them a prize. Create a reward chart and tell your toddler/preschooler that any night she follows all of the sleep rules, she gets to put a sticker on her chart. This means if she stays in bed but keeps yelling for you, she does not get a sticker (because she’s broken rule #3). After 3 stickers, give her a small reward of your choosing. The reward can be the same or different with each following success – whatever you think will work better for your kids. Make sure to tailor the prizes to your specific toddler/preschooler; if it’s a prize they’re not interested in, they won’t work toward it. For many toddlers/preschoolers, it’s more effective to use rewards that are logical. We need sleep in order to have the energy to play, so perhaps a reward could be a trip to the trampoline park (or any other activity that requires a lot of energy). After 2 or 3 rewards, increase the number of stickers required to get a reward. Continue to stretch out the time between rewards until you fully give up the chart and your toddler/preschooler follows the rules without it.

If rewards don’t seem to be motivating your toddler/preschooler, you can also implement consequences for nights where the sleep rules are not followed. Again, use logical consequences. When a toddler/preschooler doesn’t follow the sleep rules, parents and/or toddler/preschooler doesn’t have the necessary energy to play.

Use An Ok To Wake Clock

Introduce the clock to your child. Show them what it looks like “when the sun comes up” or “the color changes” on the clock itself, explain to them that mom or dad will come to get them as soon as it’s up or the light is green, and share with the child about what to do if it isn’t up or the light is not on. Once the “sun has come up” or the light is on, then let mom and dad know and they’ll come over immediately! Some popular brands include the “Gro clock”, “Mirari Ok to Wake,  “Claessens” and my favorite Little Hippo Mella .

>>>download your FREE Toddler CLock Guide Here<<<

Final Thoughts 

It can be a little nerve-wracking when your toddler/preschooler won’t stay in their bed, but these tips will help you stay calm and deal with the situation. Every child is different, so what works for one may not work for another – but it’s always worth trying new things to see if they’ll help. 

How have you handled it when your toddler gets out of bed? Let us know in the comments!

I have so much more I want to teach you about baby and toddler sleep and how you can help your baby!

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Sending sleepy vibes and sweet dreams your way!

Erin McCormick

Your Pediatric Sleep Specialist

Disclaimer: This information is for education purposes. It is not intended to treat or diagnose any condition, nor is it a substitute for therapy. If you have any concerns about your child’s behavior or development, please reach out to your child’s qualified healthcare professional, such as a pediatrician or psychologist.